


Fits and Starts

by WriteReal



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Feels, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 11:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14354526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriteReal/pseuds/WriteReal
Summary: A glimpse into the complicated lives of the new Queen family; vigilantes, hackers, politicians, step-parenting, and angst, oh my. Maximum domesticity. This is canon until about half way through Season Six and then goes slightly AU.I own the words, not the characters or the show or anything else. Just having some fun. All hail Copyright laws!!





	Fits and Starts

Oliver opened his eyes. He didn’t need to look at the clock. He woke at much the same time every day with the rare exception. Through the gauzy curtains (a recent Felicity addition) he could see the eastern horizon just starting to lighten.

Felicity lay on her side facing away from him. He slid over to her and wrapped himself around her petite frame. She sighed and pulled him even closer until they were completely entwined. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in her scent. If there was ever an antidote to the stressful, dangerous life he lived as the Green Arrow, this was it. With her by his side, he could survive anything.

He heard William’s alarm go off and heard the thunk as his son smacked the snooze button. Oliver would let him snooze it once, and then prod the boy out of bed and towards the shower. He had things prepped for French toast for breakfast ,which would further prompt William into action. It was hard to tell who appreciated the sugary treat more; William or Felicity. He was glad they both enjoyed fast metabolisms that allowed him to cook decadent meals on a regular basis.

He smiled as he thought about their morning routine. He was up first, then William, and Felicity. They would get ready for their days while he made breakfast. Then they sat down as a family and ate before going their separate ways; William to school, Felicity to their headquarters or to the loft to work on her company, and he to the mayor’s office. The normalcy of it soothed him. Never could he have imagined this domestic life would make him happy. He grew up with maids and cooks and every luxury. No one had been more surprised than he that he enjoyed cooking and was good at it. The only time he had ever set food in the kitchen at the Queen mansion was to raid the fridge. 

He savored the warmth of his body against Felicity’s until William’s alarm went off again. He kissed Felicity on the cheek, nuzzled behind her ear, which prompted a happy sound from low in her throat. He hated to leave their bed, but their honeymoon started in two days, and then they would have all the time together they wanted. 

He made sure William was up and moving before he took a quick shower and headed out to the kitchen. Soon the apartment was filled with the sweet fried smell of French toast. He made some sausage to go with it and squeezed the orange juice. As if choreographed, William and Felicity appeared in the living room sniffing the air appreciably. 

“Morning,” he said to both as he plated the food and set it on the table.

“Morning,” William said and stifled a yawn as he slid into his chair.

“Good morning,” Felicity murmured, sliding her arms around him and reaching up for a kiss. He happily obliged, letting his mouth linger on hers.

“It certainly is,” he murmured back.

“Child in the room,” William said cheekily as he stuffed a huge bite of toast into his mouth. 

“Pfft,” said Felicity. “You see worse playing Call To Justice.”

“True,” William smirked.

“He does?” Oliver asked as he set a tall glass of milk in front of William. The boy’s appetite had finally returned since the death of his mother, and Oliver was determined to get as many good calories into him as possible.

Felicity snorted. “It’s mostly a FPS but they manage to sprinkle some scantily-clad, ridiculously buxom women throughout. All of whom swoon over their heroes.”

“Hey!” William objected. “Some of the fighters are women, and they’re just as badass as the guys.”

Oliver frowned. “I’m not sure I like the sound of this game. Violence shouldn’t be glorified.”

“It’s not, really,” Felicity said. She shot a look at William who was looking mutinous. “It really does address the ugliness of war, and the toll it takes on people.”

“And that’s better how?” Oliver asked, looking from woman to boy. William was scowling as he stabbed another piece of toast.

She shrugged. “It’s a good way to blow off steam, to just forget about your own stress.” She paused and looked at William who raised his eyes to hers. “And William knows firsthand that violence is not trivial or glorious. He gets it.”

Oliver made a hmm noise in the back of his throat. He wasn’t convinced, but he had to pick his battles. “Okay,” he conceded. “Just checking.”

William immediately relaxed and Felicity reached under the table to squeeze Oliver’s hand. He was learning. Slowly, but he was learning to navigate the daunting map of parenthood. 

 

Thea and Quentin were already in the office when he walked in. He had a full schedule, including a length meeting with the city’s financial advisers. Now that Kaden James was dead, Diaz cooling his heels in solitary in prison, and Laurel god knows where, he city’s money people and Felicity had been working on getting the millions back they had sent to James’ off shore bank account. It was a time-consuming process, and he was more than a little tempted to let Felicity use backdoor methods to retrieve the funds. However, he knew he needed to do this legally and legitimately. The vultures who wanted him out of the mayor’s office were still circling, waiting for any opportunity to strike, and damned if he was going to give them such a juicy opportunity.

Quentin stepped in for their regular run down of the day’s events. He looked haggard, still coming to grips with Laurel’s decision to leave Star City rather than reunite with her father. Oliver had no doubt that Laurel would return, and he sincerely hoped for his friend that she would have a change of heart. Quentin had been through hell and back and he was overdue for some happiness. Which reminded Oliver that he needed to talk to Felicity about having Donna come and stay with them after they returned from their honeymoon. He wasn’t going to play matchmaker per say, but perhaps putting her and Quentin in the same room would spark something. He made a mental note to bring it up several days into their honeymoon when Felicity would be relaxed and open to suggestions.

“You’ve got the penny pinchers up first at nine, and Thea’s ordered lunch for all of you ‘cause there’s no way you’re getting out of there before noon. The new chief of police is here at one, and then you’ve got the AG at two. The head of the Chamber of Commerce is at three and she is hell bent on ripping you a new one because businesses are supposedly leaving town. Then you’ve got the city council meeting at seven and that’s going to be a full-on blood bath.” He paused. “Are you sure you want to do all of this in one day? You’re going to get pounded in every one of these meetings.”

“Has to be done before Felicity and I leave,” Oliver said firmly. “I’m pushing it already by taking two weeks off so soon after James. I want to wrap up as many loose ends and get as many things in motion as possible.” He paused. “Where are the poll numbers at?”

Quentin grimaced. “Well, the good news is that the public is back to being mostly pro Green Arrow now that he’s taken down Kaden James and company. Things aren’t as rosy for the mayor. A significant number of people still believe you’re the Green Arrow even after it was proven that the picture of you was false, and Rene recanting his testimony. They like the Green Arrow, but they don’t like their mayor lying about being him. Or being him.”

“It’s to be expected,” Oliver said. “It’s going to take time to win back the people’s trust.”

“Just understand you’re going to have to kiss a lot of babies, cut a lot of ribbons, and schmooze your ass off when you get back. The election is less than a year away, and you’ve got to win back public opinion if you want to stay in that chair.”

Oliver nodded and kept his face blank, but inside he asked himself again if that was what he wanted. Both Quentin and Thea assumed he wanted to continue being mayor. Only Felicity knew his qualms about it, and for now he wanted to keep it that way. He couldn’t say that he enjoyed being mayor, but despite his baggage as a Queen and the Green Arrow, he thought he was making a positive difference in Star City. Two people had announced that they were running against him, and several others were rumored to announce soon. He didn’t trust any of them to do better than he was. 

There was also the question of what he would do if he wasn’t the mayor. He had no desire to run a business, and while Felicity would undoubtedly make her new company with Curtis a huge success, it would take time and they needed the financial stability. Being mayor was nowhere near being the scion of the Queen fortune, but it paid nicely. 

“Okay,” Oliver said. “Let me slog through the emails, check in with John, and then I’ll be ready for the financial people.”

“Sounds good,” Quentin got to his feet and eyed Oliver. “You counting the hours until you leave for that honeymoon.”

“The minutes. Practically the seconds, but I don’t want to sound obsessed.”

Quentin chuckled. “You got William all squared away? ‘Cause I’m happy to step in.”

Oliver smiled. “Thanks, but we’ve got it covered. Raissa is going to be there, and then John and Layla have several things planned with him. I think he might have a better two weeks than we do.”

Quentin raised an eyebrow. “I seriously doubt that. But I’m glad you’ve got people. Maybe I’ll crash one of the things with John and Layla. I thought they might be taking a vacation too.”

“They didn’t want to. Layla’s been travelling so much, she just wants to stay home with John and the baby. She’s calling it their stay-cation, but John’s going to be covering for me if anything comes up.”

Quentin nodded and headed towards the door, but Oliver stopped him.

“Quentin,” he looked straight into the older man’s eyes. “Thank you for thinking about William. It means a lot to me.”

Quentin, never comfortable with emotion, nodded, and walked out the door.

 

Oliver sifted through his emails. As always, Thea weeded out the superfluous and only sent on the things he really needed to see. There was nothing urgent, so he picked up the phone and called John.

“Yeah,” John said breathing hard. “What’s up?”

“Just checking in. Sorry if I interrupted your work out.”

“No problem. I really haven’t built all my strength back up in my arm since Curtis’ chip fixed my hand, so I’m working on that.”

“I don’t remember you lacking anything in the field,” Oliver said, turning his chair to look out the window. Star City looked bright and calm in the morning sun. He hoped it would stay that way for a long time.

“Still,” John said. “I want to be a hundred percent.” He changed the topic. “Everything going good at the mayor’s office?”

“As good as can be expected considering I’ve just had the indictment against me dropped, most people still think I’m the Green Arrow, and the city is in financial ruin.”

John chuckled. “Ah man, you’ve beat worse. People will come around.”

Oliver frowned. “Until we find out who was behind really setting James on me, I’m not even going to think in that direction. We still have no idea who was behind it.”

“My money’s still on Anatoly,” John said. “He hates you for not being ‘loyal’ to him. He’s determined to take you down.”

“That isn’t Anatoly’s way, though,” Oliver said. “It doesn’t feel like something he would do.”

“Maybe that’s the point,” John said. “He doesn’t want you to know it’s him. He might hate you. He might have thought he could take you down with James and all those other scumbags, but he does not want to go toe-to-toe with you. He knows he will lose.”

“Anatoly does not lack for confidence,” Oliver said, turning back to his desk. “Trust me, he thinks he can beat me, and he’s not going to stop until he does.”

“Which means you are going to have to take him down first,” John said quietly. “Is there a prison that can hold him?”

“Not in Russia,” Oliver said quickly, knowing where John was taking this and not wanting to go there. “I honestly don’t know how much sway the Russian mob has in US prisons. Probably more than I want to think.”

“Then you know how this has to end,” John said. “If I get the shot, I will take it.”

“It’s not for you to do, John,” Oliver said. “It’s mine.”

“I disagree,” Diggle persisted. “Anatoly has to be stopped, and I have no problem being the one to put him down. I’d rather it were me than you.”

“John,” Oliver warned. “Do not go looking for Anatoly.”

“I won’t,” John said. “But when he shows up, and he’s going to show up, I’m not pulling any punches, Oliver. He’s going down, for good, and I won’t lose any sleep over it.”

They hung up and Oliver dropped his head into his hands. He didn’t want John to kill for him, but if he was honest with himself, he didn’t know if he could kill his former friend. If friend was what you called a stone cold killer who had used him like a lethal weapon and manipulated him into killing people he had no quarrel with. Lian Yu had made him a killer, ARGUS had made him an assassin, but Anatoly had made him a mercenary. He could have walked away, but Anatoly made it too easy, to comfortable to stay. He had needed family and the Bratva had been the closest thing available. He glanced down at the place on his chest where the Bratva tattoo had once been. Destroying it was the only thing Chase had done to him that he didn’t hate. 

 

Felicity stared hard at the monitor, willing it to give her the answers she needed. She had to get this one piece of the pie in place before she and Oliver left for their honeymoon, and she simply wasn’t getting anywhere. She thought about trying to reach Ray again. She could use his expertise in miniaturization, but she had already left him two messages and who knew where – or when – he was. She wasn’t going to ask Curtis. He was more than pulling his weight on the project, and she needed to do the same. She knew he was trying to make amends for his betrayal of Team Arrow, and specifically his betrayal of her. They had a long road before things got back to where they had been, but she was confident they could. Getting Oliver there was going to be another matter, but she didn’t begrudge him his current refusal to forgive. He had been truly hurt by the defection of the three team members, and it would be a long time before trusted Curtis or anyone else new again.

Her stomach grumbled and she sucked down the last gulp of her soda from Big Belly Burger. She had barely done more than grunt when Curtis had delivered lunch and recognizing her need to hyper-focus, he had stayed at his own workstation until he had to leave for a massage. He had a date – a second date – with a guy tonight, and he was determined to be relaxed and upbeat.

“I know that’s an oxymoron,” he said, during their brief convo before he left. “I need to get all the tension out of my body so I can be happy, you know?” She nodded and he plowed on. “I mean, I don’t know if this is ‘the guy,’ you know, or even if he’s going to be ‘the guy for a while,’ or what, but I don’t want to blow this.” He paused. “I haven’t done this dating thing for a while. I hate it. I was always terrible at it. Paul said he kept going out with me despite our dates, not because of them. He saw something more than a babbling string bean with good hair, you know?”

Felicity had smiled and leaned forward to squeeze his hands. “If this guy doesn’t see how terrific you are,” and they both grinned at her pun, “then he doesn’t deserve you, and you need to find someone who does.”

“Easy to say when you’re a blissfully happy newlywed.”

Felicity blushed and looked down. “Point taken, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t remember what it was like, looking for someone. Looking for ‘the one,’ and not finding him for a long, long time.”

“And then not being willing to believe he’s the one, and pushing him away, and being all up in that angst, and-“

Felicity interrupted. “No, I don’t recommend that you take that path,” 

“I could not walk that path. No way,” Curtis said fervently. “You’d have to lock me away in a funny farm. With good wi-fi. It’s got to have wi-fi.”

Felicity laughed. “You are not going to wind up in a funny farm, and you’re not going to spend six years trying to figure out what to do. Now, go have your massage, and I want all the details about the date first thing tomorrow.”

Curtis had given her a wry smile and loped out the door. 

Her stomach grumbled again. She checked the time on the monitor and swore. It was later than she thought, and she was late getting home. Raissa would have picked William up from school and made sure he was doing his homework, but if he needed help, William would wait for Felicity, and she didn’t want to have him doing homework late into the night. 

She logged out of the computer, dumped her cup in the trash, and grabbed her purse. Raissa would have dinner started, but Oliver had a city council meeting tonight so they would have to eat early. The logistics of the night ran through her head; homework, dinner, time for William to chill before bed. She would work after William was asleep, and before Oliver got home. 

She carefully keyed in the alarm code and, checked the locks. As she made her way down to her car, she shook her head in disbelief. Somehow, in the last year, she had gone from a single woman to being married with a twelve-year old son. Life was full of surprises, including ones that didn’t involve arch villains or plots to destroy the city. 

 

Oliver paced around the living room as Felicity quietly watched from her perch on the couch. It didn’t take a genius – or six years of loving him – to know that he was furious, and a furious Oliver needed to be handled very carefully. She wanted to touch him, to soothe him, but she knew he wasn’t ready. She decided to start with verbal support instead.

“Okay, but the important point is that they didn’t have enough votes,” Felicity said, hoping she sounded more positive than she felt. “It failed. They lost.”

“Yes,” Oliver snapped. “But they were only one vote short.” He turned and looked at her fiercely. “And I did. Not. See. This. Coming.” He ran his hands through his hair, and turned to make another lap around the center of the room. “If Thea hadn’t gotten wind of this and leaned on McDowd, they would have succeeded.”

“But she did, and they didn’t, and now you know,” Felicity insisted. “Now you can shut this down.”

“How?” Demanded Oliver although it seemed more like he was asking himself than her. “They are one vote short of a Vote of No Confidence removing me as mayor. I’ve been trying to figure out how to prepare for a race a year from now, or if I even want to run again, and now I find out I have a city council that wants me out.”

He stalked across the living room to the bar where he poured himself a shot of vodka and slammed it. Felicity winced. She couldn’t understand how anyone could drink that stuff straight. She watched him think about pouring another shot and deciding not to. That was good. Not that Oliver ever got drunk. Or at least, not drunk when he was upset. On vacation was another matter, and she suppressed a smile as she thought about one particular night of margaritas under the stars on a deserted beach. Drunk Oliver was very…uninhibited. 

“Look,” she said slowly, getting to her feet and going to him. She slipped her arms around him and put her cheek on his arm. He relaxed a bit at her touch, and she knew she had found the right time. “You knew they were going to rake you over the coals. You knew that they blame you for everything that happened with Kaden James, and they even blame you for being accused of being the Green Arrow. I get that you’re upset about them staging a coup, but really, if you look at it, it’s not that surprising. Mr. Big Shot What’s His Name—“

“Cooper,” Oliver said bitterly. “Ryan Cooper.”

“Cooper, whatever,” Felicity continued. “He’s made it clear he wants to be mayor, and he’s going to do whatever it takes to get there. From what I’ve seen, this is a page right out of his playbook.”

“So why didn’t I see it coming?” Oliver fumed. “Why didn’t I anticipate it, and block him before it even got this far? If Thea hadn’t stepped in, I wouldn’t be mayor anymore.” He paused. “Maybe I shouldn’t be. Dealing with James definitely had me taking my eye off the ball in the office.”

“Because you were too busy saving the city to be monitoring petty politics!” Felicity protested. You multi-task very well, Oliver, but even you have limits.”

“Then maybe,” Oliver said, “maybe I shouldn’t do both.” He looked down at her. “Maybe I should just stick to being the Green Arrow.”

Felicity squeezed his arm, and looked up at him. “Maybe that’s so. You have to decide that. But no one else gets to make that decision. If you don’t want to run again, you have my full support, but no fly-by-night-wannabe is going to steal the mayor’s office from you. If you leave, you leave on your terms, not his.”

Oliver smiled down at her and turned to pull her into his arms. “I like it when you’re fierce. What would I do without you?”

“Be miserable?” Felicity quipped and stood on tiptoe to kiss him. “Now, let’s go to bed. We have to get through one more day, and then Aruba here we come.”

That got her a full-on grin.

 

William sat on the edge of his bed and took a deep breath. Then another. Maria, his therapist, had taught him to do that whenever he felt a panic attack coming on. He hadn’t had one for almost two months and thought maybe he wouldn’t ever have another one.

Then he found out that Oliver and Felicity were leaving for two weeks. He had been through Oliver leaving once to help his friend, and he hadn’t been scared. Felicity had been there, and Raissa. He knew the rest of team Arrow would be there to protect him, too. 

This was different. Now that he understood what his dad really did and why he did it, Oliver made him feel safe. He knew that Oliver would do whatever it took to protect him. Felicity understood him. To her, he was her son. He wasn’t ready for a new mom, but it was nice knowing that when – if – he ever was ready, she would be there.

Now they were both leaving him. Diggle and Quentin, and everyone else would still be here, but it was not the same. If someone came for him, like Chase had, the only protection he had was Raissa, and he wouldn’t want her to even try to save him. He was done losing people he loved. So, he was on his own.

He slid his hand between the mattress and box spring and felt the handle of the knife he had snuck out of the kitchen. Between the set of knives Raissa used and the ones Oliver preferred, no one had noticed one chef’s knife was missing. It could easily be in the dishwasher. No biggee. His finger slid past the knife to the butt of the gun he had bought from a high schooler four days ago. Just touching it made him break into a cold sweat. He hadn’t fired it. There was nowhere to safely do that without being found out. He had fired guns before but only rifles and only for target practice. The thing was, he knew he could pull the trigger to defend himself or someone he cared about, but he didn’t know what he was doing. He would probably miss and then it would be too late.

He heard Oliver and Felicity in the living room, double-checking that they had everything for their honeymoon. He didn’t want to spoil their happiness so he had reassured them both, multiple times, that he was okay with them leaving. He cited all the reasons he should feel safe – Team Arrow, Quentin and the police department, Raissa – but he didn’t feel safe at all. 

He stood up and took another deep breath. He could feel the anxiety coursing through him. He felt like he was going to vibrate right out of his skin, and his stomach churned. He just had to get through the next few minutes; make Oliver and Felicity believe that everything was going to be fine while they were gone. Then he could slip into his room and pull up videos on the internet of how to shoot the gun. 

He put a smile on his face and walked out into the living room. Felicity was muttering the packing list to herself, triple-checking that they had everything. Oliver was looking at his watch and then his phone, clearly wanting to be on the way.

“Hey,” William said cheerfully. “You all ready to go?”

“Yes,” said Oliver.

“No!” Felicity said emphatically. “I’m forgetting something. I can feel it.”

“Whatever we don’t have we can buy when we get there,” Oliver soothed. 

“It’s an island, Oliver,” Felicity said sternly. “They aren’t going to have everything.”

“You’re right,” said Oliver, putting his phone into his pocket. “They are not likely to have military-grade encryption cracking software, or a central traffic cam system for you to hack into.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “Because people go there on vacation. To relax. Have fun. You do remember fun, don’t you?”

Felicity rolled her eyes but smiled up at him. “Yes, I remember what fun is.”

“Good,” said Oliver, dropping his hands. “Then let’s go have some.” He turned to William and eyed him up and down. He started to speak but William held up his hands.

“Stop. I’m fine. Yes, I am sure that I want you to go. I know the team is just a call away. Raissa won’t let me out of her sight, anyway, and no one could get past her and that rolling pin.”

Oliver grinned and stepped forward to pull his son into a tight hug. He kissed the side of William’s head and said, “We are just a call and a plane ride away if you need us.” He pulled back and looked down into William’s face. “You know that, right? You need anything, you call.”

William nodded and was mortified to feel tears prickling behind his eyes. He looked away, searching for an out, and met Felicity’s eyes. She nodded silently and he broke away from Oliver to hug her. With his face in her shoulder and her arms around him he allowed himself one moment of self-pity and then straightened up and smiled at her.

“Anytime,” she said softly and firmly. “Don’t hesitate.”

“I won’t,” he said, his voice wavering just a bit. He stepped back and glanced at Raissa who stood at the entrance to the kitchen trying not to look worried. “Have a great time. Don’t worry about us.”

Felicity fidgeted with the hem of her t-shirt and looked out the window of the town car. Something was wrong with William. She could feel it, and she had learned to trust her instincts. The question was, how good were her maternal instincts? She hadn’t had much of a chance to hone them yet.

Oliver put his hand on her leg.

“What is it?”

“What?” she asked quickly.

“What’s bothering you? You’ve been fidgeting since we got in the car.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m just being a worry wart.” She smiled at him. “You know how I get.”

“And what exactly are you worried about?” Oliver asked, gently kneading her leg. She could feel the muscles softening under the massage.

“Just…random things.” She paused. “William. Is it too soon? I mean, everything he’s been through in the last year. Maybe we should wait?”

Oliver took her hand in his and laced their fingers together. “I’ve asked myself that about a million times in the last week. Part of me says that he will be okay, and that he’ll probably have a great time with Digg’s family and Raissa. Part of me thinks that we – you and I – really need this.” 

“We do need this,” she said stridently. “We have more than earned it. I’m just worried…” she trailed off and looked out the window. “We could bring him with us.”

“What about school?” Oliver frowned. “He’s just finally catching up.”

“I could tutor him,” Felicity says. “He wouldn’t fall behind.”

Oliver was quiet for a moment. “If you think that’s what we should do, then we’ll turn around and go get him.”

Felicity looked up at him. “I don’t know what to do. I really, really want us to have some down time together. I need that.” She paused, “but I just feel like something is off…”

Oliver squeezed her hand and then leaned forward to the driver.

“We need to turn around and head back to the apartment,” he said firmly. The driver glanced at him in the mirror, nodded, and put on the turn signal.

 

The videos were good at showing him, step-by-step, how to disassemble, clean, and re-load the gun. There were really good ones about how to aim, getting used to the kick, how to re-load. The one thing William couldn’t find anywhere on the net was something that explained how you were supposed to feel when you held one. When you thought about using it.

He was surprised at how uncomfortable he was touching the gun. He’d followed super heroes his whole life. They did a lot of violent things, and it never bothered him. He played First Person Shooter games all the time and sighting down a digital barrel had always been thriling. The cold, hard steel of a real one made him nauseous. He had to fight not to puke when he touched a bullet. 

Did everyone feel this way the first time? 

He heard the front door open and frowned. Where was Raissa going? She had promised him an amazing lunch and had gone off to the kitchen leaving him to ‘study for a math test.’

He heard low voices. Was that his father? Panic shot through him and he shoved the gun and bullets under the comforter and slammed his laptop shut. Had they forgotten something? Had something already happened that required the Green Arrow? A mixture of relief and terror rolled through him. They wouldn’t leave him, but they might find the gun and the knife.

A soft knock sounded on the door and before he could say ‘come in’ it swung open to reveal Oliver and Felicity.

“Wha-what are you guys doing here?” he stuttered. “Did you forget something?”

“Yes,” Felicity said brightly, stepping to the room and perching on his bed, scant inches from the gun. Had he loaded it yet? Yes, oh shit, was the safety on? Was the safety on? He couldn’t remember. Oh god, what if she hit the gun and got shot.

“We forgot you,” she said, oblivious to his panic and the danger she was in. 

“What? What are you talking about?” His panicked gaze swung to Oliver. He had to get them out of his room. How? He had to think. His father was frowning quizzically at him. His dad was learning to read him. He picked up on things. He knew something was off.

“We want you to come with us,” Felicity continued. “It doesn’t feel right to go without you.”

“But it’s your honeymoon,” he said desperately. He wanted to pull the gun back towards him but he was afraid he would hit the trigger. “No one takes kids on their honeymoon. That’s just weird.”

“In case you haven’t noticed,” Felicity smiled. “I am weird. Your dad’s weird in his own macho-super-hero-with-a soft-side way, but I am definitely way weirder. So, let’s get you packed.” She bounced up off the bed and his breath hitched. The gun didn’t go off. She was safe as long as he didn’t accidentally bump the trigger.

Felicity threw open his closet doors. “Okay, you need lots of shorts and t-shirts. Swim trunks, at least two pairs. Maybe three.” She started sifting through the hangers.

Oliver stepped forward, a full frown on his face. “William?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” William said. How was he going to get out of this? He didn’t want them to leave but he knew he should not go. And if he did, Raissa was sure to find the gun and the knife. She would deep clean his room while he was gone; flip the mattress, move the bed to shampoo the carpet. There was no place to hide the gun and knife where she wouldn’t find them.

Oliver went to sit on the bed and William shot out his hand. “No!” he said loudly. Oliver paused and Felicity turned around. He looked at them fiercely. “I don’t want to go. I have plans with Lyla and Dig. I don’t want to get behind in school.”

“I can tutor you,” Felicity said, a frown on her her face now, too. “William, we want you to come. You don’t have to say no because you think we don’t.”

“I. Don’t. Want. To. Go.” He insisted. “Didn’t I just say that? I want to stay here. I’m not being nice, okay?”

Felicity recoiled, looking hurt. She glanced at Oliver who never took his eyes off his son.

“That’s a lie,” Oliver said quietly. His eyes bored into William’s. “We have talked about this. We don’t lie to you, and you don’t lie to us. Ever.”

“You lie all the time,” William blurted. He was desperate. He had to get them to leave. “You lied about being the Green Arrow again. You lied about where you were all those nights.”

“Yes, I did,” Oliver said evenly. “And I apologized and I promised you—I promised you that I would not do it again.”

“We have to be honest with each other, Willima,” Felicity said, and took a step towards the bed. William shot to his feet, tears brimming in his eyes. They had to leave.

“I said no!” he shouted. “Now leave me alone!” He waved towards the door. “Get out of my room!”

“No,” Oliver said, and this time he was stern. “Why do you want us out of your room?”

“You’re in my face,” William shouted. “Back off!”

“William,” Felicity said, reaching out to him. “William we are trying to understand-“

He jumped over the bed and shoved her towards the door.

“I said get OUT!” he screamed. Tears were cascading down his face. Felicity’s face was full of shock and hurt. She staggered back towards the wall, reaching back to catch herself. His father’s hands closed over his arms and he was so strong, William would never get away from him. His dad wasn’t hurting him but he couldn’t move his arms.

“William look at me,” Oliver command but William couldn’t. He couldn’t meet those eyes that he knew had to be filled with anger and disappointment. He had shoved Felicity. He had hurt her. 

Oliver gave him a stiff shake. “William, look. At. Me. Now!” Unbidden, William’s eyes flew up to his father’s. There was no anger or disappointment. Just concern. Fear. William felt self -loathing crash over him. He was hurting both of them. He hated it, but he had to get them out of the room.

“What is going on? Why are you acting this way?” William opened his mouth but Oliver cut him off. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to go. That has nothing to do with what is going on.”

“Just leave me alone,” William sobbed. “Just get out.” He tried to yank himself away from Oliver’s grip but instead his dad pulled him into his chest, one of his hands cupping William’s head against his shoulder. William tried to push away, tried to stop crying, but Oliver was immovable. He felt Felicity stroking his back and it made it so much worse. He loved them. He didn’t want to hurt them. He didn’t want them to know how weak he was. The son of the Green Arrow should not be weak.

Slowly, he stopped crying, his hitching breath slowing until it was normal. His dad’s shirt was soaked. He could feel Oliver’s lips pressed against his hair, hear the rustle of his beard against William’s head. He didn’t want to let go.

“William,” Oliver said softly, his voice a rumble under William’s ear. “Talk to us. What is going on?”

William took a deep breath and blew it out. Then another. Slowly he pulled away from his dad and Oliver let him go. He stepped back and wiped his face, refusing to meet either of their eyes. He had to tell them. Oliver would tear the room apart trying to find the answers.

“Stand over there,” William gestured towards the door. Oliver and Felicity frowned at each other, but silently complied. Once he was sure they were out of the line of fire, William took a deep breath and pulled back the comforter.

The gun lay cold and black and ominous against the pale blue stripes on the sheets. Felicity gasped. William stood with his head bowed, his hands at his side. Shame washed over him.

“I was afraid,” he said, and his voice caught. Weak, so weak. “I got it to protect myself. And a knife. I took a knife from the kitchen.”

Oliver exhaled heavily and William braced himself for the anger he was sure would come now.

“Where did you get the gun?” Oliver asked quietly.

“From a guy,” William shrugged. “I used my birthday money.”

“His name,” Oliver said, his voice still quiet and even.

“No,” William said. “I’m not a narc.”

“He sold a twelve year-old a gun. I need his name.”

Felicity put her hand on Oliver. “Let’s deal with that later.” She turned to William. “I wish you had told us, William. We would have understood.” She looked back up at Oliver. “We do understand. It was too soon. We shouldn’t have even thought of leaving you.”

“Yes, you should!” he insisted, fighting back new tears. “I’m not a baby. I don’t care what’s happened in the past. I can handle this. I will handle this.” He glared up at them, hating his weakness. 

“I believe that,” Felicity said, reaching out to him. He flinched, but she slid her hand across his shoulder anyway. “But you don’t need to do it alone. That’s what we’re here for.” She gestured to all of them. “We’re a family. Families are there for each other. They support each other. They help each other.”

“I shouldn’t need any help,” he cried. He angrily swiped at the traitorous tears. “I’m the Green Arrow’s son, even if I am a bastard, and I should be stronger!”

Oliver felt like he had been punched in the gut. It had never occurred to him that William felt like he had something to measure up to. Oliver felt so inadequate. He was still struggling with the steep learning curve of being a parent. He was twelve years behind. He was the one who had to prove himself. And a bastard? He felt sick to his stomach.

He reached out and turned William around. The boy’s head was down, his eyes fixed on the floor, tears streaming down his face. Oliver put his hand under William’s chin and gently but firmly forced it up until William’s eyes met his.

“You have nothing, nothing, to prove,” he said huskily, tears swimming in his own eyes. “I am the one who has to be worthy of you. I am the one who failed you. It’s true that I didn’t know about you for most of your life, but the truth is that even if I had, I would not have been a good father for most of those years. I was selfish and stupid before I landed on Lian Yu, and then I was broken when I came back. You deserved, you deserve, so much more, than I have given you.”

Oliver reached out and wiped away his son’s tears. “You are so strong. You have been through the worst loss anyone can endure and you picked yourself up and kept going. You lost your mother, your friends, your life. You moved to a new city and a new school with someone who was a complete stranger. Someone who played a part in your mother’s death.”

William flinched at those words, and the tears escaped Oliver’s eyes, and trailed down his face. “You are the strongest person I know. Far stronger than I have ever been, and I…” he took in a shuddering breath. “I am so proud to be your father. It is the greatest joy of my life.” He reached up and ran his fingers through William’s hair. “And I am sorry that I couldn’t give you the start in life you deserved. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to give you my name and claim you as my son. I know – I realize now that those kids at school who bully you must taunt you with that slur. But, it’s not true, William. I can’t honestly say that I would have married your mother – not that she wanted me to – but I would not have hidden you away. You would have been William Queen from day one.”

A scorching flare of hope exploded inside William. “Can I still be William Queen?” 

A sob hitched in Oliver’s chest. “Yes,” he smiled through his tears. “Yes, nothing would make me happier. If that is what you want.”

William nodded and threw himself against his dad’s chest. Oliver’s strong arms enveloped him and then Felicity’s went around them both. Safety and love covered William and for the first time since his mom died, he took a deep breath and relaxed. He was finally home.

“I love you,” Oliver whispered. “I love both of you. You are my life and my strength. Don’t ever forget that.”

William nodded against his chest and he reached out to entwine his arm with Felicity’s and she hugged him even tighter.

“I never thought I’d have a home again,” William said. He turned his face to the side and looked up at Felicity. “I never thought I’d have a dad at all,” he paused. “Or another mom.”

Felicity’s face split into a huge grin and she smiled at him through the tears. “I can’t tell you how happy that makes me,” she said, and stroked his face. “I couldn’t have asked for a better son.”

They smiled at each other and Oliver bent and kissed both of their heads. They stayed like that for a long moment before he raised his head and they both did the same to look at him. “So,” he said seriously, “Now can we go on vacation?”

William opened his mouth to object but Felicity cut him off. “Don’t even think about it,” she said sternly, wagging her finger at him. “You’re coming with us, you’re going to blow off school like a proper kid, and that is that.”

He grinned at her and nodded once, happiness filling his chest until he thought he would burst. Felicity turned her face up to Oliver, her face still serious. “There is one more piece of business though,” she said to him. He quirked an eyebrow at her. “When we do the paperwork to add Queen to William’s name, we need to do the same for me.”

Oliver’s eyes widened and then a huge, slow smile suffused his face. “I am going to bribe the judge, threaten the judge, whatever it takes, to get those name changes done in record time.” They all laughed, and behind them Raissa cleared her throat. They broke their embrace to turn and look at her. Her eyes were damp but her chin was up and no way was she going to cry in front of them.

“So, I have two weeks off?”

Oliver shook his head. “Sorry, Raissa, but you’re still going to have to work. Aruba is really beautiful, and I’m sure you and William will enjoy exploring it on your own here and there during our trip.”

Raissa folder her arms across her chest and did her best to look stern. “I don’t like the sun, Oliver. It is bad for the skin.”

“I’ll buy you all the sun block you need,” Oliver promised. He glanced at his watch. “I’ll re-book the flights. Two of you need to pack.” William gave a whoop and ran to the closet to get his suitcase. When his back was turned, Oliver swiftly gathered up the gun and bullets and found the knife under the mattress. He met both women’s solemn eyes and headed for the safe in the bedroom. They would put this past them, and they would be stronger for having been through it.

**Author's Note:**

> So, first Arrow fic. I wrote this before we knew Diaz was the big bad of the season. This started out as just some drabbles about how the Queens were settling in and then William sort of took over. No beta; all mistakes are mine. Let me know what you think.


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